What Fathers Really Want for Father’s Day

June 13th, 2017

a collection of typed out fathers day wishes

Father’s Day is on Sunday, and if you’re a father you may know that the day can be packed full of “plans” and other stuff you likely have zero interest in doing. But, you go along with it because that’s what you do — that’s what fathers do.

Well, dear fathers, we’re here to help you take a stand. We’re here to finally give voice to your true wishes on Father’s Day. We’re here to give you what you want.

Last week, we polled a number of fathers and asked them just that: “What do you really want for Father’s Day.” As you can imagine, some of the first answers were in the vein of “just to spend time with my family;” or “to have breakfast in bed;” or some other stupid s*** like that.

We knew that couldn’t be it, so we promised full anonymity and some whiskey to get things loose and, well… let’s just say dad’s wishes for Father’s Day are pretty simple. Here’s a look at some of the answers we got:

to be left in peace typed on paper

And… we’re off. This was a common theme across the board, so if you want to make dad happy on Sunday, leave him the f*** alone.

no wives and kids in the pub typed on paper

Well, there’s a thought for next Father’s Day.

have the bartender be nice to me

Good luck there, mate. But, never hurts to ask.


We’re rolling out a brand new brunch men on Saturday, just in time for Father’s Day. Think bacon pancakes, egg white frittata, bourbon granola, fried chicken and biscuits, and more. We think he (and you) will totally dig it.

38 24 36

Math is hard. We should probably Google it.

sleep in golf drink repeat

Hallelujah! Sounds like a perfect day.

cigars and strippers

Cheap or expensive?

can i please go to have a pint with the boys its fathers day please

We say yes, but maybe not beg. It’s your day, man.

an amazon shopping free day


more napkins

Sure, I guess? We’re not here to tell you what to ask for, but pretty sure Amazon can have that to you in about 24 hours.

tell me i am great

Dads need some verbal love, too.

steak and that thing we only do on my birthday

Who are we to deny you that?

a big hug

Awwwwwww. Really mailed in that answer, uh?

There you have it: a peek behind the curtain of what dad really wants for Father’s Day. Now, we can help with the drinking part, for sure. The others, well…

To all the fathers out there, happy Father’s Day!